Monday, 26 November 2012

On This Day

Forty Years Ago

The furnace was fired up for the last time at Frigholm Forgemasters, makers for more than 130 years of convict branding irons and suppliers to the Empire. ‘A sad day indeed,’ said works manager Reuben Glumthwaite, reflecting on the loss of a once proud industry, whose belching chimneys had in happier times dominated the skyline for the full length of the Grimebeck Valley.

Twenty Years Ago

Young Britart sensation Dwain Cuttles proved a sell-out at his first exhibition, Smile, held in London’s glitzy Bond Street. Red spots spread like measles over the 250 exhibits, each an actual-size cracker joke, hand-stitched by Lebanese craftworkers in the East End and then hung upside-down. Strikingly dressed as the Mona Lisa, Mr Cuttles maintained an enigmatic smile all evening as he gathered in the many cheques written out by eager collectors.

Twenty-Five Years Ago

Spectators were obliged to run for cover at the Strathfaffin Games near Scourie when novice entrant Norma McGurk took to the field. In only her third ever Highland Games, Sister Norma, ‘the Flinging Nun’, brought records tumbling in a bravura performance of accuracy and strength. Interviewed after, the soft-spoken Carmelite put her remarkable powers down to clean living and beef tea.


  1. Dear Mr Pangolin,

    I should like to be introduced to the lady in this photograph. As usual, I can pay handsomely,in cash.

  2. Very well, Mr Nerd, we're impressed by your persistence. 9.30pm this evening, behind the abattoir, £500 in used coins only. Please wear a dirty raincoat for identification purposes. It is not normally our policy to allow any of our models to associate with herberts like you, so on this occasion a Mr Thomas No-nose will attend. For security purposes. No cameras.

  3. Dear Mr Pangolin,

    My sister, Plenipotentiary, seemed very interested at the sound of Thomas No-nose. Frankly, I'd be grateful if you could get the frightful old bat off my back. Always trying to cadge money for the purposes of procuring a toyboy.

    I'll therefore be sending her instead. Good luck to Mr Thomas No-nose. He'll need it.

  4. Mr No-nose is displeased. He hung about for an hour or two, but apart from an odd looking cove in a baseball cap and skis, saw no-one.

  5. Yes, that's her all right. She must have been overwhelmed with desire and therefore too shy to approach.


Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!