Dear Mr Pangolin,I should like to be introduced to the lady in this photograph. The one in the kitchen. I can pay handsomely, in cash.
It is not a photograph. It is a drawing. It is not a record of reality. The lady in the drawing is not real. Get a life. That'll be £250.00, please.
But I'm a NERD. I come from a long line of Nerds. This is life. Cash on delivery, then.If I can't have the lady in the kitchen, the pink, yellow and blue one with legs in the foreground will do.
Nope. Can't see one like that. Hang on, I'll just take one of these pills................
She's holding some unusually-coloured bits of toast. But I'll overlook that. Make sure she doesn't bring them with her.
She's not going anywhere - not with the court case looming.......
Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!