Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Marcel Duchamp IN HERNE BAY!!!


Not many people know that the famous Marcel Duchamp hung out in Herne Bay - well not exactly IN Herne Bay, but on terra firma as chaperone to his younger sister.  We have documentary evidence below.  He is, of course, chiefly famous for trying out all the new movements in art in the early 20th century - cubism, futurism, embolism, alcoholism, journalism - and being crap at every one of them.  He then set a precedent for all would-be artists who can't draw, by exhibiting a urinal.  Sadly, Saatchi didn't exist at the time, but he seems to have got by anyway.

An extract from Marcel’s diary... with thanks to the Herne Bay Dada Enthusiasts’ Circle:
“End so – auf to ‘Erne Bayee, whatevaire zat ees, to keep ‘ow you say, the minced pies, on ouwer Yvonne, who ‘as on occasion, shown zat she can be, ow you say, up for it, weez almost any hommes. Ragand muffin or gentlemens. Certainment zer wezaire it will be pissings down end so zere will be no times for moi to go for zer bracing walkings. Bon! All I must do is prevent the naughty Yvonne from becoming into a naughty situations and trembling the knees with passing blokery. This will geev me time to find somethings to do with thees urinal which arrived from Amazon last week. Eef I can get it into my bag.”


  1. Speaking as a representative of the Artist's Intent Committee, I am quite frankly appalled to set yet another Yobbish British Artist (YBA) taking the peas out of Duchamp...

  2. I'm interested in the technical specifications of those devices which appear to be urinals, and, in particular, the diameter of the corks preventing all those micturitious substances from pouring out over the floor. With limited success. Can you help, please.

  3. Dear Mr Nerd,
    The diameter of the corks is very slightly smaller than the outflow pipes they fit into, you dope.

  4. My dear Anonymous,

    The diameter of the corks is considerably less than the outflow pipes they fit into, if the amount of wee that has landed on the floor is anything to go by. Would you kindly furnish the measurements.

    I remain, yours truly,


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