Thursday, 29 November 2012

Britain's longest living married couple in care home in Glossop!

Barbary and Ophelia Wemmick, both 129, have the longest lasting marriage in Britain - they've clocked up a whopping 104 years, and are still going strong!  Of course, they're rather frail now, but they've outlasted scumbags who put them in a home in the first place and are now the proud owners of all their relatives' houses!  
Lucinda Dedlock

They're well-respected residents of Sunnyfluffywuffybunnyview Care Home in Bag End, Glossop, where the owner, Lucinda Dedlock, waxes lyrical about them.  

"They're such a devoted couple", she trills. "And they're always tucking into the delicious food we serve here at Sunnyfluffywuffybunnyview, and participating in all the marvellous activities we offer here at Sunnyfluffywuffybunnyview and no wonder they've lasted this long at Sunnyfluffywuffybunnyview.  Especially when you consider what happens in some care homes.  Why, there were rumours that one of our competitors had failed to notice that an elderly couple had died, and continued to change their bedpan and deliver the Daily Mail!

And it is CATEGORICALLY untrue that we are more interested in marketing Sunnyfluffywuffybunnyview than in looking after our customers; also that we regard events like this as an opportunity to put photos of our upholstery and curtains into The Glossop Bugle.  Now, did you catch the name of this care home..."
Barbary and Ophelia Wemmick, Britain's longest surviving married couple


  1. Dear Mr Pangolin,

    I should like to be introduced to the lady in the top photograph. I do believe it is a photograph, especially as it appears to be a cross between Anthony Perkins in 'Psycho' and Marilyn Monroe.

    I have ceased to carry cash but have recently acquired a Paypal account.

  2. To whom does the Paypal account belong ?

  3. Not sure. Its name is 'Thomas N N', but I feel convinced that this is but a pseudonym. I was going to say 'nom de plume' but this would be presupposing that the owner was capable of writing.


Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!