Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Pangolin Travel

It's not all seatbelts and cabin pressure here at Pangolin Travel. Some months ago we wished bon voyage to Jasmine and Toby Fittock as they departed on their trip of a lifetime to the fabled South American lost city of Mucho D’iarreaio, so recently rediscovered by Dr Hank Flank and a team of archaeologists from Goole University. Jasmine takes up the tale….

“It was dark when we finally arrived at Mucho D’iarreaio after a hair raising trip over the Sierra del Pangolino in a battered ex American school bus which, according to Toby, featured the unusual semi-automatic pneumatic extra-cyclo in-line gearbox until I told him to shut up as I’d been sick on my shoes again.

Anyway, we found a hotel of sorts and slept fitfully (Toby’s been having those since he ate some odd mushrooms last year on our Unseen Glossop trip) until the sun rose and we got our first view of the ancient city. Incredibly disappointing. Just bits of rubble here and there with the odd phallic symbol poking drunkenly above the dust. The locals refer to Mucho Diarreaio as “Nob-Nob” and our guide Sancho said that if that was the sort of thing we were interested in, he knew several excellent places just beyond the local McDonalds. 

Sancho, and other locals we met whilst having our luggage stolen, expressed puzzlement about our interest in the lost city and indeed why on earth Dr Flank’s expedition had come there in the first place. "The Incas”, added Sancho whilst palming my camera, "thought Nob Nob was a dump”.

But we’re seasoned travellers and were undeterred by the loss of all our money, luggage and most of our clothes. We did what trekkers do. We sold blood, hair and a couple of Toby’s bridgework dentures which raised enough cash to gain us admission to El Non Nob Paradiso where, after a few hours working the pole, Toby had our bus fares out of Mucho Diarreaio, back to Santa Lumbago and the British Embassy".

Whoa! Scary stuff Jasmine, and thanks for the snaps Sancho took of you defending Toby on the pole. Sadly, this is a family blog and we can’t actually publish them. Shame!

Next time, we ask, how boring are those people who decide they want to live abroad and go poking around foreigners’ houses with a film crew and snide comments.


  1. Did you get any photos of the unusual semi-automatic pneumatic extra-cyclo in-line gearbox ? I'd be much more interested in those than the smutty unpublishable filth that hasn't appeared on here.

  2. Actually Xavier, Toby's not sure if it was a semi-automatic pneumatic extra-cyclo model. He says now that is vision was obstructed by the chap in front turning round to steal his passport. It could have been the more usual transverse five speed manual version. And no pics I'm afraid. The camera was jammed solid with vomit.


Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!