Monday, 4 February 2013

Wise Gardening Worms, sorry, Words

Nissan McNightie of Peebles says he’s new to gardening but he’ll try anything once! He's written to us in a state of distress:

Dear Pangolin Gardening Staff,

My potted plant fell over; I mean - the plant collapsed, leaving the pot standing. Then I noticed loads of ‘C’ shaped grubs in the compost. I find only having ‘C’ shapes really cuts down on the number of words I can make from them. What are these grubs, and how can I get more letters?”

Melinda, our typist who once typed a letter 'j' by accident in 1956 and hasn't typed anything since, was quick to leap to his assistance:

What you have here are vine weevil larvae (Noraholius leafius). These dangerous little blighters will eat just about anything that grows in a pot – even your stew or risotto. All vine weevils are female, and as for virgin birth – they bring tears to the eyes of the Catholic Church! Although they’re ‘C’ shaped, put ‘em together carefully and you can make a little letter ‘A’, too. For other letters, including fancy stuff like ‘&’ and ‘@’ – you can’t do better than earthworms (genus Longthinslimius). They beat the so-called ‘Spelling Bee’ into a cocked hat! Or you could just buy a game of Scrabble.”

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