Friday 8 February 2013

Pangolin News Flash!!!

A warrant to search a property in Pricklebottom Terrace, Bude, was obtained from court following complaints by residents and business owners of a strong smell of skunk coming from there.  An illicit skunk farm, with an estimated street value of £100,000, was detected in two bedrooms and the downstairs bathroom.

Brian Cootiebiscuits of Bude Neighbourhood Police Team, said: "I was overwhelmed by the number of local people from the local area approaching local officers with their local concerns. It didn't take very long, and I found the right house", he wheezed.  "You could tell by the erratic behaviour of three pigeons and an earthworm in the front garden."

Apparently local schoolchildren had been in the habit of releasing the animals into local school premises approximately ten minutes before maths lessons, Monday - Friday.

PC Cootiebiscuits continued: “The supply of skunks has a huge impact on local communities and today’s find and arrests send out a strong message that Bude Police will act on every piece of information.  Our streets will be all the safer for not having all those schoolkids wandering aimlessly around not doing mathematics.”

A 91-year-old man and a 13-year-old boy remain in custody for questioning.

2 comments:

  1. I think it's terrible that this sort of thing is allowed to be not allowed in this day and age.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Quite agree, and while we're at it, due to the nearby tanker spillage, that last sentence should read, "A 91 year old man and a 13 year old boy remain in custard."

    ReplyDelete

Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!