Sunday, 10 February 2013

Pangolin Obituary

Benjamin Thrupp

14/2/1890 - 31/1/2013

Benji was an unusual cove in that he looked like this all his life; there are recorded instances of hairy uncles and damp aunts peering into his cradle and needing intensive counselling shortly afterwards.  He was well known for attending society balls and totally failing to get off with anyone.  He therefore leaves no direct descendants.

He is neverthless fondly remembered by all devotees of orange peel teeth, a cosmetic enhancement he pioneered.  The idea for his brilliant invention came to him one morning while looking into the mirror to pick his zits.

One of his favourite pastimes was to stick a teaspoon into an electric socket, which maintained his distinctive hairdo. Unfortunately a power surge in the kitchen at The Terrapins (his favoured country retreat) led to his demise and an increase in buildings insurance premiums in the Tadcaster area.

1 comment:

  1. This bloody lunatic used to turn up here every now and then, bothering people and trying to get our resident pianist to play "I'm A Pink Toothbrush" Good riddance, I say.

    Grant Pole [manager, The Terrapins, Tadcaster]


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