Wednesday, 9 October 2013

The Seagull (Chekov it isn't)

Joined in 'Any note you can scream I can scream louder' contest on garage roof. Got 'Highly Commended'. Dodged boot thrown by tosser at No.68. Went back and ate it. 

Flapped around looking for washing. There it was. Whammm!  Direct hit!

Was attacked by small fighter jet. Aimed for whites of the eyes. Went back and ate it.

Found copy of Daily Mail. Tore it into shreds - come in handy for nesting next spring; stuffed it down the chimney pot at No.37. That smoke's always a nuisance in the winter, and it'll keep the paper warm and dry.


  1. I have been singularly disappointed by the efforts of badger cullers in my area i.e., that they couldn't find any to slaughter. This has had a bearing on a seagull - control plan I as Chair of the local branch of I. I. F.a.S. K I [If it Flies and Shits, Kill It] am developing. I had planned to offer the badger cullers a further contract to mount a national killing campaign with regard to seagulls, but must now re think.
    Norman Spewt.

  2. Editor's note;
    Mr Norman Spewt would make it known that he is NO relation to Mr Kenneth Spewt, who is also a complete berk.


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