|Fairly typical education secretary; this one was|
photographed in Kennington Lane, SE11.
Feeling like nobody's listening to you, too busily indulging in 'vapid happy talk'?
Bothered by all those teachers running wild after 3.30pm, wreaking havoc on the school bus and having holidays?
Even more bothered by the thought that young people might be indulging in messy activities like art, or dance, or drama instead of learning their times tables and proper dates?
All this can be a thing of the past, just so long as you invest in a proper program of Wash 'n' Gove.
A timely application will mean that you can remember your numbers in the right order, and relate them to your fingers and toes. You will become familiar with approved literature, such as 'This little piggy went to market'.
|Wash 'n' Gove miracle cure|
English? You'll understand loads of proper words, and be able to translate the naughty stories by Chaucer and the like. Likewise languages, but you'll get to look at Balzac instead (very rude).
As for Geography... well, you'll not only be able to pinpoint Spaghetti Junction on a map of the world, but find your way round it.
All this, and lots more, can be yours when you get yourself a proper supply of Wash 'n' Gove. Available only from government departments.
And you, too, can end up looking like this:
|The same education secretary, after a judicious|
application of something or other.