Dear Mr Pangolin,I should like to be introduced to the lady 'lovely Vera' in the photograph. I can pay handsomely, in cash, and shall also require protection from that man - who appears to be something of a Neanderthal.
Again, sadly, your very kind offer must go unanswered. You see, both the people in the picture are imaginary. They are both also dead.
That is of no consequence; I often indulge in fantasy people. I particularly have fantasies about the politicians portrayed on Page Three of The Sun. Neither do I have a problem with the fact that they're dead. If anything it will make that man more tractable.
Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!