Justin here. Where does one start? Sometimes it helps to see one’s own life responsibilities set against those of others, doesn’t it? I mean, occasionally find myself burdened down by the calls of office. My humble attempts to curb the viral spread of legal moneylending by outing those twats at Wonga and suggesting that a wealthy Church ought, according to the teachings of the scriptures, step in and massively undercut the pay-day loans ratbags (could be a nice little earner). Or calling out to the government to halt the HS2 super train business – an intensely selfish, mind-numbingly expensive scheme which benefits very few at the expense of the many.
But these things pale into insignificance against the damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t decisions which our leaders must take every day. I refer of course to the dreadful situation in Syria, a country steeped in Christian as well as Islamic history. Why, was it not in Syria that Simon of P’rune smote the Stone Gates of Thythycuth and The Word of God appeared on the wall of a betting shop in Damascus saying even unto Paul "Forget ye the pale camel for it has been nobbled"? Yet now that country is caught in the very same rock and hard place quandary facing world leaders.
What should your average Syrian do?
Support President Assad who, as we all know, can be a total bastard and jolly strict, or call for western countries to bomb the shite out of Syrian defences? And those very western leaders, our own blessed David Cameron and now America’s Barak Obama have stepped back from the brink of war, having half an eye on upcoming elections. I really felt for Mr Cameron making all those threats to President Assad. We cannot send an aircraft carrier to Syrian shores because we haven’t got one and even if we did, we have no aeroplanes to put on it – and won’t have if we spend all our loans on that silly train idea.
But its the opposite problem which faces Mr Obama. He DOES have aircraft carriers and aeroplanes by the swarm, huge guns, and lots and lots of bombs too. As Mr Obama’s military chief of staff, General Zeke “Incoming” Krumpe said the other day when he thought the microphones were turned off, “Why in tarnation have we got all this ordnance if we can’t blow some place to Kingdom come every now and then?” Why indeed? I will tell you. It's because in God’s eyes, it is wrong. Another way must be found which will not threaten the lives of ordinary Syrians. Personally I favour a quiet visit from the SAS, in company with American Black Ops types. In – do for Assad – out.
I am writing this in full view of the young man with the wire in his ear. I’m pleased to say that when he peeped over my shoulder and read that last bit, he said, “Too right, Archie, too right!”