BBC’s long-serving weather forecaster Carole Kirkwood shocked motorists and threw the country’s transport system into chaos today when she announced that temperatures “may well fall to below freezing” overnight.
Said Carole (81) "There may well be flurries of snow in some areas." Environmentalist Sir Denzil Pannick commented; “If this is not clear evidence of global warming, I don’t know what is. Ice and snow in December! I ask you! The BBC’s roving reporter Clarisse Mole has been out and about on the streets of Glossop to get local reaction to the news.
"Yes that’s right Bill and public opinion here is really very clear. Nobody could give a toss."
Meanwhile in London, Chancellor George Osborne, speaking at the annual Rich Ba$tard$ dinner assured his audience that economically things were going to be a bit bleak until 2018, but that he’d do everything in his power to ensure that millionaires like himself would not suffer.