Tuesday, 11 March 2014

For Sale: 'Trebuchet' deluxe toaster

Low mileage, one careful owner. You'll need to get your own MOT though.
  • Can accommodate several slices if you can work out where to put them.
  • Variable browning, not subject to control by any known being.
  • Extra bits for pinging burnt toast all over the place.
  • Springs for removing small animals  and bits of plaster that may have fallen in.

Settings include, but are not limited to:
- slightly singed in one corner
- slightly singed in two corners
- cremated
- small flames, plus pinging mechanism so it'll start your barbecue outside
- as above, but strong enough pinging to start next door's bonfire. Specially recommended for November 5th


  1. Would exchange for Steinhammer Mk II diesel-fired garlic press. Also available, pair motorised lettuce tongs (one arm missing). Buyer collects.

    R McCluny, Isle of Yell.

  2. This could be the most amazing co incidence. I actually have the left arm from some motorised lettuce tongs. Its off a British Leyland set of tongs, I think, and looking at the thrust bearings, probably a 10 horse power side valve motor, so yes, I'd be very interested in that item.
    The Steinhammer is a serious piece of kit with its double hydraulic grench rams, but I simply don't have room for it.
    Frank Spindrift

  3. Not so fast, Mr Spindrift. Here in Mid-Wales, I, too, am in possession of the left arm (detached) of a set of BL lettuce tongs, mine with distinctive staining at a midway point. For justice to be done, I believe it is imperative that both arms be sent off for further analysis by independent authority before any attempt is made to proceed with re-unification. I feel very strongly on this issue and, having been moved to make contact with greatest possible haste, by electronic mail, no less, can put it no more succinctly.

    Brangwyn J Kinnock of Builth (retd).

  4. No, he bloody well doesn't !
    Eileen Spindrift [47]

  5. I notice certain discrepancies in the timing of these comments and it might appear that my "No he bloody well doesn't" remark was aimed at Mr Kinnock. It wasn't. It was intended for my husband who collects all manner of useless junk and is a total arsepain, whereas Mr Kinnock sounds very well-to-do but insane.


Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!