Sunday, 21 October 2012

Tips for Online Dating

Useful tips for creating a completely irresistible online dating profile.

1. If your only photo is one of you in an animal sanctuary, please make it clear which one is you.

2. Refrain from posting glamour photos of yourself on a beach in your bikini - unless you actually live on a beach in your bikini. Especially if you're a bloke.

3. Don't post your wedding photos.

4. Make sure you're facing towards the camera, rather than away from it. It makes all the difference.

5. If you think people might be put off by your looks, photograph yourself in a mirror for your profile picture. Your face will be obscured by the camera or the flash, and it gives potential suitors the opportunity to be impressed by your (photographic) equipment.

6. Avoid use that frightful text speak or unnecessary abbreviations and remember: good grammar is essential to a hygienic lifestyle.

7. Keep quiet about all men/women being lying, cheating bastards. Just pretend you hadn't noticed.

8. Don't mention that you're only looking online as a desperate last resort before giving up. It will make potential suitors feel as though they've come last in the sack race.

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