I hear Keats turning in his grave...
May I comment on port three. It of course depends on which way round you might be looking at it. If there are only three ports then port three might in fact be port one from a different direction of viewing. If there are four ports then it might be port two.From a poetic perspective, however, it has to be port three, which might require it be allocated to ensure it rhymes.Further information on the poetic aspect of USB ports can be found on Wikipedia.
Sorry, Mark, not following your reasoning. If there are four ports, then port three viewed from a different direction might be port zero. These computer chappies work in powers of two and start from zero.
Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!