Thursday, 2 July 2015

Cassius Pugnatius Seagull

Bloody humans! Come over here, building unsightly blocks of flats all over our cliffs and fishing in our seas!

Well, we're staging a comeback, I can tell you! Me and my mates have recently taken to finding the cities with the biggest accumulation of pavement rubbish in the UK, and moving in. I myself have loitered on office windows and fixed daydreamy office types with a stern glare, before hopping in through the window, leaving a calling card on the telephone dock, going "Blarp!" and then hopping off again.

I've also noticed that pigeons congregate in these areas. I detest the way they pooh everywhere, so we've taken to covering their poxy little excretory offerings with more generous portions of our own.

Left a decomposing starfish on the windowsill of No. 98. Yep, we're staging a comeback!

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