Thursday, 2 July 2015
Cassius Pugnatius Seagull
Well, we're staging a comeback, I can tell you! Me and my mates have recently taken to finding the cities with the biggest accumulation of pavement rubbish in the UK, and moving in. I myself have loitered on office windows and fixed daydreamy office types with a stern glare, before hopping in through the window, leaving a calling card on the telephone dock, going "Blarp!" and then hopping off again.
I've also noticed that pigeons congregate in these areas. I detest the way they pooh everywhere, so we've taken to covering their poxy little excretory offerings with more generous portions of our own.
Left a decomposing starfish on the windowsill of No. 98. Yep, we're staging a comeback!