Thursday, 11 September 2014
Schoolgirl, aged ten, successfully defends against cyber-attack!
Any invading cybermen are instantly shrunk to the size of a Barbie doll, where they can simply be disposed of by means of a car boot sale, or eBay.
"Well there was I, attempting world domination as is my wont on a Sunday afternoon - when all of a sudden there's this daft bint waving around a secret weapon and swearing.
I've never heard language like it. My Auntie Lucy would have been dead shocked, I tell you.
Then my world got suddenly and terrifyingly bigger. I just need to get out of this place. It's giving me warts and they'll be expecting me back for tea back home."
If you think you can help Ashley get back to Earth's twin planet, Mondas, please get in touch.