Saturday, 24 May 2014
Pangolin Election Special!
"What I don't understand is why the BBC and ITV and ABC and JKL and whatever all those other news channels are called, spent so much time discussing smoked herrings", he intoned. "In fact, here's a picture of a u-kipper to show you all what they look like:
Instead, we've had to endure minute scrutiny of a bunch of oily, wrinkled old codgers with two faces - who smell rather. On their own admission, they don't do very well in parts of the country where the local populace have two brain cells to rub together. Ironic in that oily fish is supposed to improve your brain power.
So, Ukip are now a major political force... given that they are now in control of precisely zero councils throughout the UK, have no seats in Parliament... but will doubtless do well in the European Elections. And won't bother to turn up to any sessions of the European Parliament anyway.
Well, I'm going to jolly well get on to that Hugh Fearnley-Whillowstalk and see if he can't supply us with some more effective fish - whitebait or something!"