As your council leader, I was disturbed to learn that America’s National Security Agency has been collecting the phone records of foreign nationals including those of local residents. Mrs Skeetch from the Crystal Therapy Club contacted me to say that a rotating piece of quartz on a string had confirmed the bad news. Her phone had been tapped! I have therefore taken it upon myself to direct a stern letter of rebuke to the head of the NSA, the US Congress and Senate, and a copy was also CC’d to the President, expressing the disapproval of the country council that the American government are spying on practitioners of alternative medicine in the borough. For good measure, Mrs Skeetch has waved a lump of feldspar over a copy of the American constitution. Meanwhile, I have asked Mr Frobisher, the town clerk, to have user passwords changed on all council computers using a cunning code based on initials, star signs and my own Top Secret inside leg measurement.