Saturday, 11 May 2013

Another letter from one of our faithful fan base...

Dear Pangolin,
My fiancée and I recently motored north to Goole in search of the relocated Glossop Pangolin Sanctuary. As children in Bangdup End, just outside Glossop, we can both recall being taken to the Sanctuary (where we almost saw a pangolin. Twice) as a Sunday treat.
You can imagine our disappointment when we could find no reference to the sanctuary in Goole’s Visitors’ Guide. It was only when we were having a cup of tea in the Aaaaahh Teashop, next door to The Goole Mud Museum, and  whilst in conversation with Ingrid, that  I mentioned the name “Ted Thump”. An unfortunately wall-eyed old lady at the next table told me that Mr Thump, the bluff head keeper at the pangolin sanctuary might be found “next door”.
The King’s Legs turned out to be rather a rough place, but Mr Thump was in fact in situ by the bar. He has obviously not been well and kept falling over. It was during one of his brief periods of standing unassisted that Mr Thump increased our distress even further. “Ee lad. Are you soft or what ?” he bellowed . “There were never a b***dy pangolin sanctuary ! It were all made up to fool b***dy dimwits like you two. Now either get me another pint or **** off !”
As you might imagine, our journey home was virtually silent save for Ingrid’s disconsolate snivelling. We feel cheated of our childhood and look to your magazine to investigate further. I did report this matter to our local beat police officer, but she told me to “**** off!” as well.

Yours sincerely

Trevor H Bandage

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