The furnace
was fired up for the last time at Frigholm Forgemasters, makers for
more than 130 years of convict branding irons and suppliers to the
Empire. ‘A sad day indeed,’ said works manager Reuben
Glumthwaite, reflecting on the loss of a once proud industry, whose
belching chimneys had in happier times dominated the skyline for the
full length of the Grimebeck Valley.
Twenty
Years Ago
Young
Britart sensation Dwain Cuttles proved a sell-out at his first
exhibition, Smile,
held in London’s glitzy Bond Street. Red spots spread like measles
over the 250 exhibits, each an actual-size cracker joke,
hand-stitched by Lebanese craftworkers in the East End and then hung
upside-down. Strikingly dressed as the Mona Lisa, Mr Cuttles
maintained an enigmatic smile all evening as he gathered in the many
cheques written out by eager collectors.
Twenty-Five
Years Ago
Spectators
were obliged to run for cover at the Strathfaffin Games near Scourie
when novice entrant Norma McGurk took to the field. In only her third
ever Highland Games, Sister Norma, ‘the Flinging Nun’, brought
records tumbling in a bravura performance of accuracy and strength.
Interviewed after, the soft-spoken Carmelite put her remarkable
powers down to clean living and beef tea.
Dear Mr Pangolin,
ReplyDeleteI should like to be introduced to the lady in this photograph. As usual, I can pay handsomely,in cash.
Very well, Mr Nerd, we're impressed by your persistence. 9.30pm this evening, behind the abattoir, £500 in used coins only. Please wear a dirty raincoat for identification purposes. It is not normally our policy to allow any of our models to associate with herberts like you, so on this occasion a Mr Thomas No-nose will attend. For security purposes. No cameras.
ReplyDeleteDear Mr Pangolin,
ReplyDeleteMy sister, Plenipotentiary, seemed very interested at the sound of Thomas No-nose. Frankly, I'd be grateful if you could get the frightful old bat off my back. Always trying to cadge money for the purposes of procuring a toyboy.
I'll therefore be sending her instead. Good luck to Mr Thomas No-nose. He'll need it.
Mr No-nose is displeased. He hung about for an hour or two, but apart from an odd looking cove in a baseball cap and skis, saw no-one.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's her all right. She must have been overwhelmed with desire and therefore too shy to approach.
ReplyDelete