Sunday, 11 January 2015

Bogwort Down the Pan - Again!

Darren O'Bogwort: "I'm acksherly a sensitive New Age Guy an' I like poetry an' everyfink."

Darren O' Bogwort, well-known local bailiff and Parliamentary Candidate for the latest Right-Wing-Splinter-Group-but-we-don't-know-what-it's-called-yet - has hit the headlines once again!

Last year, O'Bogwort (17) had been photographed attending orgies and seemed to relish the notoriety - until it was pointed out that the so-called 'orgy scene' was nothing more than a photographic backdrop generally used by contributors to the Readers' Wives page in Norks Monthly. He strenuously denied the allegation, saying that it was "A proper orgy and everyfink an' anyway they're just jealous!"

However, it had been alleged that his tattoos feature Nazi regalia, but he was advised to deny this by his party leader, Obergruppenf├╝hrer Bang. Reading from a prepared statement, he explains his tattoos thus:

"The one whot looks like a swastika is in fact a very ancient symbol and you get it in Buddhism, Hinduism and Jainism. At least that's what it says on Wikipedia. So yar boo sucks to all you lot.

The tattoo which looks like an eagle whot was a symbol of the Third Reich is in fact a dove of peace. OK OK it's a crap drawing.

Then you lot said that I had a tattoo which says 'Let us prey' well actually clever clogs it says 'Lettuce spray' and that's what I got for my mum for her birthday because she was getting dead narked with all the greenfly in her salad."

When questioned further, he admitted that they weren't really tattoos at all, but the work of his mate Bazzer, who had drawn them on with biro for a bet.

They were no longer on view since he had had his annual bath since this photo was taken.


  1. On behalf of nearly all our 27 readers, I must protest at the photograph used by your blog of Darren O'Bogwart [real name Darren O'Bogwart].
    Mr O'Bogwart is nowhere near as good-looking as this depiction.
    Alan Spong
    Norks Monthly

  2. Dear Mr Spong,

    Thank you for pointing out the error of our ways. We'd change the spelling of the name to O'Bogwart throughout - but then nobody would know what you were talking about. We have questioned Mr O'Bogwart about this depiction and he blushed a bit and said that it had been photoshopped.

    So much for 'the camera never lies', eh?


Go on... you want to say SOMETHING, don't you? Post under a made-up name if you're shy!