Saturday, 1 November 2014

Pangolin News Flash

A book-signing at Waterstones in Glossop caused a stir when the real writer of the best-selling cookery book, 'How to turn Chicken McNuggets back into Food', arrived at the famed emporium.

For the true author, far from being celebrity chef Suzanne Anklestrapps - as claimed by the publisher - is the ghost of local pig farmer, Josiah Pring (1932 - 2012).

"We had this before, with the book signing of Gertie Balloons' 'Can't Twerk, Won't Twerk'," admitted store manager Willy Stibbs. "These ghosts are all fine and co-operative-like, but being of non-corporeal form they struggle to hold the pens so necessarily for successful signing."

"We get round this by means of table-rapping and ouija boards, but there have been one or two complaints from patrons of the café when their americanas and cappuccinos took off".

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