Monday, 24 February 2014

The Seagull

Breeding season doesn't start til April, but there's no harm in lookin', is there? Been checking out Lara - the one who hangs around outside 'Gertie's Fish Diner' on the sea front. Been regaling her with songs... 'Nothing you can say will tear me away from my gull' and 'Gulls just wanna have fun!' but not impressed so far.

Rather ungrateful I thought, considering I regurgitated nearly an entire curry for her delectation last year.

Was sitting near Boris on the wheelie bins in the car park the other day. If I line myself up properly I can see daylight through both his nostrils.


  1. Do you honestly think seagulls look through each others' nostrils ? God knows I've tried to understand this Pangolin thing, but its just plain silly really, isn't it ? That's "silly", not "funny".. What you need to do is learn the basics of humour. Watch some Morecambe and Wise or Ant and Dec. Its no wonder you don't get any comments. Nobody wants to be bothered with your childish rubbish..
    Name and address [Arnold Twatte, 37 Drab St., Glossop] witheld

  2. Of course I look through Boris's nostrils. It gave me a good view of the whelk stall. Twatte.

  3. And, by the way, Malc McGookin stopped being my friend on Facebook because I said I didn't think Morecambe and Wise were funny. Good.

  4. Jonathan Livingstone liked Morecambe and Wise. He said they were "uplifting". But then, JL said nice things about everbode. Who is Malc. McGookin ? A seagull ?


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