Business Support and Advice: that all-important interview

Remember, when you go for an interview it's important to make a good impression. One of the ways you can do this is to make conversation, and another - essential - one is to ask about the organisation you'll be working for.

The following should be very helpful to you in your quest:

• If you're a bloke, ask your interviewer if female staff have been known to make many complaints about sexual harassment.
• It's important to let women know they're attractive; it boosts company morale. Ask the receptionist if it was her you saw dancing at Juicy Lucy's Lapdancing Club.
• Explain that the reason all your exposed flesh is covered by thick cream is to blot out the sun. Let them know that, as a troll, you will turn to stone should you encounter daylight.
• (You may wish to substitute the term 'vampire' for 'troll' in the above.)
• Ask if they discriminate against people who develop appalling body odour by around 10.30am.
• Explain that your shaking is not a sign of nervousness. Let them know it means you don't have to buy batteries for your vibrator.
• Ask if they encourage employees to develop their hobbies and interests during office hours. Explain that you'd be happy to share your maggot collection with everyone.
• Examine the drinks machine - if they have one - and ask if it's OK to 'Bring a bottle" if they only serve tea and coffee.

Sorry if the above sounds a little patronising, but not everyone's got Anna Prongg's talent for small talk.

And Good Luck!!!