Dr Oswald von Thyroid, a leading authority Bunt’s Syndrome (the study of really boring things for its own sake), and seen here looking at something unspeakable in a little glass tube thing recently proved conclusively that immersing a man of average height and weight wearing a pair of Dreadnought underpants of average height and weight in mole urine for twelve hours drastically alters the size and whiteness of said underpants.
Says Dr von Thyroid, "Collecting the mole urine was the difficult part. It took my team 14 years. But I am confident that here is proof positive of significant implications for the underpant industry worldwide."
Dear Sir or Madam,
ReplyDeleteI am instructed by Dreadnought management to ask you to withdraw the article above.
Dr von Thyroid has been proved to be something of a cheat with regard to experiment controls. I have it on very good authority - your very own Dr P J Whimbrel in fact - that von Thyroid did not use mole urine, but a combination of gnat and vole pee, which, as we all know, will dissolve stainless steel.
I am,
Yours faithfully,
Evelyn Nyce [Mrs, 47] Communications Officer
Dreadnought Underpants
Backfire Close,
Glossop
Derbs