Sunday, 5 January 2014

Pangolin News Flash!

The secret is out! Prime Minister David Cameron has added a new member to his cabinet. Earlier today, the PM was unrepentant about the controversial appointment of a scaly adviser. 
He said: “Look, let me make this perfectly clear... pangolins are smart and they don’t care much for money. Nuts, berries and insects keep them well satisfied, and let’s face it Alan (for it is he) won’t be any worse than some of the stiffs I’ve got on my payroll at the moment. Besides, at the outset, Alan will be gradually brought up to speed and deal with relatively low profile issues like the NHS, Education and military procurement, in the first instance.”

The Pangolin Blog is obviously very pleased by the PM’s foresight in this matter, and political correspondent Desmond O’Hell comments; “Of course this is not the first time a serving British Prime Minister has engaged a non-human as an adviser. Mrs Thatcher had Norman Tebbit and Lord Palmerston kept a small family of toads in his trousers.”

When pressed further by the leader of the opposition at Prime Minister’s Question Time, Mr Cameron joked, “Oh come on ! You lot spend so much of your time telling me how useless my team is. I’ve now got an adviser who can hang by his tail from a Private Member’s early day motion! Beat that!”

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