Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Lord Throbbington-Trouser: Dead People should do some kind of Community Work

Throbbington-Trouser: "The deceased are a waste of space"
Former Head of ATOS, the controversial company renowned for announcing that zombies should become useful members of society - or risk losing their performing rights, has now made a pronouncement.

Declaring that dead people are 'nothing more than a waste of space' he is now urging government to order the deceased to find gainful employment, or risk losing their holes in the ground.

With space at a premium in the City of Westminster, he has announced that the country can no longer spare the room for all these dead weights and that they 'jolly well ought to start making themselves useful'.

Amid accusations that Nazi Germany had similar ideas, and that their lampshades ought to be examined more closely, Throbbington-Trouser refuted absolutely any assertion that he was a heartless whackjob bastard.

'Why', he intoned to a BBC reporter, 'They could easily get jobs as exam invigilators, or even sit in the House of Lords. They'd fit in immediately.'

1 comment:

  1. I was at school with Throbbers and always found him to be outstandingly unremarkable. Even then he had a thing about the deceased. Invited to meet school chums' parents at Speech Day, he used to get very excited and say, "Ooh yes. Rather ! Are they dead ?"


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