Sunday, 1 September 2013

Pangolin's answer to The Seagull


Saturday 30th

Went down to harbour wall. Did a bit of shouting. Poohed on a toddler. Spotted fat young human with ice-cream. Swooped in from the northeast. Nicked the lot. Cornet, ice cream AND flake. Got ambushed by Barry and Glenda. Lost ice cream (it fell off and landed on an old human in a wheelchair) but got away with most of the flake and the bottom of the cornet. Swallowed the lot. Did more shouting after eyes stopped watering. 

After breakfast, did a bit of soaring, slipping the bonds of dull earth, rising, rising with the elemental force beneath my wings and soaring, soaring, gazing down like a feathered god onto the place beneath and then slipping, sliding and swooping down again to be once more mortal. All done sideways as the wind coming in off the Channel was a mother******.

A higher purpose in life than poohing was called for. Vomited on bathers in Bulverhythe instead.

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