Pangolin Newsflash: Hipster of the Black Lagoon mystery solved
Dramatic pictures emerged yesterday of a search party's amazing discovery at local beauty spot Filth Pond, near Langley's Bottom, Glossop. Said Team Leader Samantha Kerb: "We've always believed in the hipster legend. It's spotted from time to time and, as you can see, it's a distressing sight. But up till now, it's always managed to evade us."
Local Social Services spokesperson Aubrey Spanner added "The team did a great job coaxing the hipster out of the water with lattes and real ale. He (we think it's a male) will now be taken to Chester Zoo for evaluation."